Insecure is one of the most talked about new(ish) 30 minutes in the HBO lineup. Our girl Issa Rae has stepped up the Awkward Black Girl cast, budget, and storyline and given us so many “YASSS” and “Waymenit” and “WTF” moments, that we can’t stop talking, blogging, and tweeting about it. (Sidebar: bih you know some of us tape it and watch on Mondays after work, the LEAST you can do is put a *SPOILER ALERT* at the top of your post you inconsiderate muthaf—-)
So here’s another blog about the five things you should’ve learned by now:
- Maybe shacking up with a babyman isn’t a great idea. Babyman: a man who hasn’t lived with anyone before you, hasn’t experienced loss/failure in work or life in general, and who doesn’t know how to cope with his insecurities in a grown man way (e.g. bones, beer, and basketball). I mean we all want to save some money with a roommate that won’t borrow our clothes, drink our favorite apple juice, or steal our man. But, shacking up with a boo without that lifelong commitment, can result in an “Annnnd, I’m out” scenario so cold, you end up with wounds that seep and ooze for years to come. If you’re not prepared to handle what it could potentially look like, I’d say, get a foreign roommate with different taste in just about everything and do that until you can afford a new place or get married. IJS
Screenshot – HBO - Passive aggressiveness is the death of all relationships. The I-don’t-like-confrontation play works when we are like 21, but after that, it just means you’re don’t know how to communicate your feelings, are sometimes being fake, and often times being selfish and acting out when said feelings accumulate. Which ultimately means you’re never really out-of or really in-to any relationship, more so, between them aka as “serial monogamy.” This creates confusion, resentment, and often results in someone, (usually both parties) getting hurt. Don’t be unfulfilled because you didn’t speak up. And if you do speak up and nothing changes, make some big boy/girl decisions and move on before it descends into social media jousts, burnt up clothing on the lawn, and embarrassing leaks of nudes. Oh, don’t act like shit doesn’t go there when people are in their feelings — it does. Yet another reason not to shack up – cuz when and if it’s over, you need a clean exit too.
Screenshot – HBO - Every ni–a has a Tasha (or two or three) hanging around in their peripheral. She’s spotted what she thinks is a good man, but knows he is tied up in something even if she hasn’t asked the question for confirmation– because at first, he isn’t looking at her with the “I wanna fuck you and I’m available eyes.” She is just waiting for her opportunity to turn your man and fully believes it is her charm (read: ass, titties, smile, and mac ‘n cheese recipe) that is swaying him, but in truth, he was just testing the waters of his manhood and appeal for that “I still got it” confirmation and setting it up so he’d have a backup for yo lukewarm ass, too. And Tashas– girls, c’mon, you can’t turn a fuck buddy on the rebound into a boyfriend. And you’ve proven once again that it’s not the girl after us that we need to be worried about, it’s the girl after that girl. Watch it unfold next season and then I will tell you “I told you so.”
HBO-via Madame Noire - Lawrence is wrong, Issa wasn’t ho-ing. She was searching. For validation, excitement, and attention he wasn’t giving her. Now, some of us’d like to think we’d be considerate enough to break it off with Lawrences before fucking the Daniels of our pasts, but be real: five years in, with the shack up, no one is giving up the live-in (no matter how bum he is, apparently) for a dude from the past without at least a trial run. Bottomline: hos don’t cheat, feel guilty, and tell on themselves. They cheat, deny, and keep fuckin’ — both (all) of y’all. No remorse. Duh.
Screenshot – HBO - There are kind-hearted fuck bois all around us…and you still shouldn’t mess with them. In any way. They are fuck bois because they are narcissists and in their self-absorption, you are merely an accessory that boosts their egos if and until they find confidence (read: make it and start really feeling themselves). You will not be truly valued or consistently cared for while he is in this space — hell, maybe never. Know the signs and peace him out before you get in too deep. (Thanks, Tasha for making this plain through your pain, girl.) No matter how good that nah-nah is, how flawless your weave coils, how fly your bank account, or how dope your wardrobe is, some NEVER stop being fuck bois. Don’t wake up next to one 10 years, 2 kids, and a mortgage later and say no one ever tried to put you up on game.
If you’re like me, you look forward to these 30 mins each and every week because they validate the single, black, woke-but-need-to-stay-employed, WTF dating-and-sex moments and provide the scripted reality of our lives in bite-sized, digestible morsels along with Blavity/The Grio/The Root feat VSB community-submitted-commentary week after week. If nothing else, it is an icebreaker for that next Tinder/BlackPeopleMeet.com date. 😂😜🙃
Insecure is the Black Sex and the City+A Different World+what The Game and Being Mary Jane were before Mara left+what Girlfriends could never be+the gap Blackish can’t fill for unmarried folks. Now tell a friend to tell a friend bih so we can get these numbers into the double digit millions and keep these renewals coming.
P.S. Can’t post about Insecure without a nod to Thug Yoda’s random ass appearances, conversation, and loyalty to the code, I mean “bode.” Only this show could give us a “Bute & Thick” and “Bouch” reality and we look forward to continued homage to the hood. #CaliLife
P.P.S. Between original music by Raphael Saadiq and great choices by music supervisor Kier Lehman, Insecure has the dopest music in the TV game right now. Don’t believe me? ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓
